Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

revisiting Rilke.

The transformed speaks only to relinquishers.
All holders-on are stranglers.
--Rainer Maria Rilke, trans. by Edward Snow

Monday, December 21, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

All day and into the night as it comes to a dreadfully cold end.

All day

All day

All day

NYTimes: At 94, She’s the Hot New Thing in Painting

From The New York Times:

At 94, She's the Hot New Thing in Painting

After six decades of very private painting, Carmen Herrera is basking
in the realization that her career is finally, undeniably, taking off.

All day

All day

All day

All day

23 all day today


Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I am not sure there is even a remote indication

Of how this actually presents itself as it fills out my studio and invades my kitchen, bedroom and general living space. My work does not lend itself to a static flat replication or recitation...nor does my life.

This side is a little too squid like for my tastes, will adapt and push it away from that connotation.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I hope you have a good day.

I hope you find the gift of breath, the sky rich with blue, the air crisp with the cool December 10th morning, that you find peace in the green that grows wild even in the city and joy in your friends. I hope this December 10th is a good day. It and you are not forgotten and are of great value. I am glad you are.

I'd tell you myself but it is not an option. So I'll just have to hope these things for you in the silence of cyberspace. And so I do.

Friday, December 04, 2009

doors shut; studio heating up after a day of cutting floorboards

burrrr! i am still a bit cold.
studio will warm up and then
i will hunker down for the night!

tomorrow i'll brave the cold and begin sewing the tubes for this piece...this highly modular piece! yes yes yes yes it is modular!

It was just like this last year

I recall sitting in a freezing cold sushi place with people I once knew and loved. I watched the snow while they discussed all the things wrong with the world. The snow comes again with the cold; they do not.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Can I name one of my own inner contradictions?
Do I think God can still love me?
an I love myself?

We must be willing to admit to the contradictions inside of us, and still let God love us in that partial state. Once we agree to see our own shadow side, our own foolishness, and our own sin and still know that God has not abandoned us, we become a living paradox that reveals the goodness of God. This is what the tax collectors and prostitutes had to do, and this is what changed them.

Once we know that God lives inside our contradictions, and God’s love is not dependent on our perfection, then other peoples’ contradictions don’t scandalize us or surprise us anymore.

I am a mass of contradictions and yet I am also a saint. I am a very good person, and I am also a sinful person. I get it and yet I oppose it too. Are both of these true? Yes, both are always true and forever true; for some wonderful reason that is what God loves.

Adapted from Preparing For Christmas, pp. 41-42

Current Mantra: Be Awake.

Copyright © 2009 Center for Action and Contemplation
PO Box 12464, Albuquerque, NM 87195-2464 (505)242-9588

Monday, November 30, 2009

Omg I think I've gone and actually made it modular!

Each door unit is free standing, front deck and stairs are each a separate unit which attaches to front door unit, back will be different but utilize a similar system, and tubes will be a tension mount system. Thus making each unit chica moveable (in theory)
Will harvest used wood for flooring and just lay in place. Almost time to start sewing. Oh yeah!! Truly a woman and her work in preparation for women and their work art space (opening Austin March 6th). Think snoopy dancing on roof of his dog house.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Neither hears nor understands

I listen as I hear each of our distortions and misunderstandings and misinterpretations as they are exasperated by intermediaries, hurt feelings, histories and anger. And as I make stairs that descend from my own history for my upcoming show, treading where no one hears the echoes of her foot falL, I see that i hear not his foot fall's echoes as well. Neither understands because neither walks within the history and experience of the other, neither sees from the others vantage point, neither can.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Oops. It lists to the right

Good thing I am not an engineer or architect and that I make gnarly art, so in the end the list will simply become a part of the piece. I suppose it is fitting since I naturally seem to list a little more to the right then the left.

"we bring our lares with us"

"we bring our lares with us" - Louise Bourgeois

Well...of course, how could it be otherwise. Not a new thought, but always jumps off the page at me no matter the author.

Louise just past mid-ninety and still making art, yes, that is my goal, what I feel compelled toward, feel called to step into. And so I move forward bringing with me all that I am and no more.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Standing at the "fence edge of a religious petting zoo"

I am yanking this quote a bit out of context, but would like to unpack it because I can feel the trickle of truth in it.

"Are you doing justice to the __, or just creating a petting zoo for religious __" Greg Wolfe, 1994

Specifically he is talking about the arts harvested and embedded in Art, faith, mystery -- Image, a visual arts and literary journal and wondering if he's just created a petting zoo for religious artists.

What strikes me about this is it's cross applicablity to all areas of calling.

How does this apply to me?

Do I have an expectation for others to create a religious petting zoo for my comfort--with Music? Community? Books? Church programming?

Do I cater to others needs for pretty comforts that numb them to their own callings that require courage, neutering and numbing even the calling on my own life?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Not sure but in process

in I breathe

Good news though is the piece rolls and will fit through double doors. In theory, no lifting.

Wooden discs are about 5' in diameter and distance between the two discs is 36" (and women and their works back door is 41" in theory this will roll into the gallery in March 2010).Needs serious refinement

in I breathe

What is it that I have
That I was not given

Even the air
I did not make it
I did nothing to deserve it
I did not cultivate it
It was just given
Ready for my harvesting

In I breathe

What of grief
Even that bears witness to gift
The gift of connection
Enflamed with ache
Because it exists
In the field of my heart

In I breathe
With ragged gasps
The gift

Sunday, November 22, 2009

He is so arrogant and brazen

As he explored a scant distance from where I propped my feet. I know he exists and don't mind the cohabitation so long as he stays hidden away, but when he scurries in his arrogance with his brazen mindset, in the broad daylight, his furry little ass across the floor in such close proximity to where I lay my head in slumber, he must die!!!! Armed with a fresh set of glue traps and poison, I will end this before the day is through!!!

I am pretty sure sleep will elude me this very eve!

Gosh dang mouse!

Friday, November 20, 2009

How do I de-construct another?

"when we are prejudice against another, we can reduce the other to something non-human. If we truly saw each other as human beings all created in God's image, it would be hard to be so destructive toward each other." -Marsha Mirkin, PHD

Who do I dehumanize? Who do I destruct? Who do I de-construct? And as I open my eyes to my actions, will I be too ashamed to change? Too angry to change? Or will I hope enough in light and goodness to change and value?

Will I begin changing my actions to humanize and honor another as being of value and infinite worth?

Will I harden myself, ploughing on, and solidify my rationale?

What are the ramifications to the other, to those who stand in proximity, to myself, to the trickel into the present, into the future?

Will I construct and build?
Will I de-construct and destroy?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

students working ghost drawings

Melissa L drawing Melissa

Melissa L drawing Melissa

Melissa L drawing Melissa

Rachel drawing Rachel

Rachel drawing Rachel