Join me next Saturday, June 6, 2009 at the GGallery

Feet of shadows trudge this space of absence
Kathy Kelley solo exhibition of new works opening
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

number five of five

the fear was hidden, remnant tires, baling wire, on stands of remnant chandelier understructures, 5 units, 2009.

for upcoming show

feet of shadows trudge this space of absence
opening june 6 at the ggallery 6 to 9 pm

work for upcoming show featured

process pictures of my new work has been featured on ny myartspace.com main gallery online.

Opening June 6 @ the G Gallery in the Heights (11th st)

Feet of shadows trudge this space of absence

Kathy Kelley solo exhibition opening
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

one of five


two of five


one and two of five


three of five


four of five

number five to be made today. each of these will mount directly to the wall.

listening

betrayal is not so very far away

betrayal is not so very far away
it spills forth from my mouth
it spills forth from my actions
every day
in "little" betrayals that dog at my heals
shatters my heart
these wounds "only" weep
they go unseen
they are disregarded
i you we turn my your our back
in "big" betrayals that knock me you us flat with its crushing blow
the wounds weep and gush
they are seen
they are regarded
i you we stand in the rising tide of the flow

betrayal is not so very far away
either little or big the wounds weep they gush
why do i you we discount some but not others
in the end the results are the same
big and small weeping or gushing
crushing and shattering

betrayal is not so very far away
where does it come from
it comes from my lacking
of timely self knowledge
it comes from my lacking
of courage
it comes from my lacking
of change when change is was
rejected for whatever reason
internal or external
it comes from my fear

betrayal is not so very far away
it comes from within me
does it come from within you

betrayal is not so very far away
is it possible for me to be both

betrayer and betrayed
big and small
weeping and gushing
shattering and crushing

whispering into that silence

i whisper into the silence; now as i did then;
it is unbearable in its volume
(in process BUT FURTHER ALONG;
oh if it could only be true of our souls as well)
remnant tubes, stuffing, wood frame
6' x 8' x 5'. 2009

FEET OF SHADOWS TRUDGE THIS SPACE OF ABSENCE
exhibition opening
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009
G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

i whisper into the silence

silence never brought healing before
why would silence bring it now?


i whisper into the silence; now as i did then;
it is unbearable in its volume
(in process BUT FURTHER ALONG)
remnant tubes, stuffing, wood frame
6' x 8' x 5'. 2009

FEET OF SHADOWS TRUDGE THIS SPACE OF ABSENCE
exhibition opening
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009
G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

2 hours later still in process andonce again getting too heavy

i whisper into that silence;
now as i did then;
it is unbearable in its volume
(in process) remnant tubes, stuffing, wood frame
6' x 8' x 5'. 2009

FEET OF SHADOWS TRUDGE THIS SPACE OF ABSENCE
exhibition opening
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

silence never brought healing before

silence never brought healing before
why would silence bring it now?

i whisper into that silence
now as i did then


i must stop speaking into that silence
i must stop hoping for healing there
i must stop speaking into the silence
i must step outside of the silence
for now as it was then
it is unbearable in its volume
i have never been able to bare up under it


i whisper into that silence; now as i did then;
it is unbearable in its volume
(in process) remnant tubes, stuffing, wood frame
6' x 8' x 5'. 2009

FEET OF SHADOWS TRUDGE THIS SPACE OF ABSENCE
exhibition opening
June 6, 2009
6pm until 9pm
show closes Junee 22, 2009
G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

i can still hear the shattering even in this silence

withdrawal and silence
absence
are not a new thing
yet i am taken aback that i have not become accustom to it through the years
i thought my feet would have thickened,
and my heart would have become calloused to it
the hardening, thickening never came
yet i could not stop the breaking
and early last May when my feet and heart shattered into a kazillion shards
and my feet could no longer carry me
i refused to let the pieces die
the remnants i gathered up were so very exhausted, so very tired, so thin
i no longer could see how mending was possible
my vision blurred, hope dwindled into that silence

whether deserved or undeserved
i have never gotten use to the withdrawal and silence
or the sense of absence
as it was before, so it continues
withdrawal and silence and absence broke me
and it still works on me the same way today
it chips away at my feet, my heart, my mind, my soul
as i have done in the past, i speak into the silences
it is the only thing i ever could think to try
though from time to time i believe i heard the faintest stir
i haven't been able to draw anything forth from that silence for as long as i can remember
not with a gentle word, a caress, not with a holler, a foot stomp, not with truth or the lessor
and still i cry and wither when i hear the same hollow ring in its stringent vacancy
the fragments splinter further
i must stop speaking into the silence
there is no life there for me no matter what i wanted or want
and i wanted you so

feet of shadows trudge this space of absence

i need to allow the shards of what remains to be mended
to gently allow my shadowed fragmented shards to be gather up
and as an invisible hand mends me, i want to breathe forgiveness
to breathe again and again, to choose to live

May I breathe forgiveness

may i breathe
forgiveness

without breath
there is no life

i choose to breathe
i breathe

it requires an
inward and outward
action on my part

a contraction and expansion
an effort and acceptance
a giving and receiving

everyday i ask
what would God
have of me

everyday i know
his answer to be
to breathe and live
to give and receive

may i breathe forgiveness

oh yeah and
deinstall art
from pitman park


may 7, 2009


april 4, 2009

How is forgiveness radical and rule-breaking?

excerpt from From Hope Against Darkness, p. 146

If we don’t get forgiveness, we’re missing the whole mystery. We are still living in a world of meritocracy, of quid-pro-quo thinking, a world of performance and behavior that earns and loses rewards. Not much better than a lottery.

Forgiveness is the great thawing of all logic and reason and worthiness. It is a melting into the mystery of God as unearned love, unmerited grace, the humility and powerlessness of a Divine Lover. Forgiveness is the beginning, the middle and the end of the whole gospel, as far as I can see. It is forgiveness toward almost everything for not being what we wanted it to be.

Without radical and rule-breaking forgiveness received and given there will be no reconstruction of anything. It alone breaks down our damnable world of trying to buy and sell grace. Grace and forgiveness are the gifts that must always be given freely—or it is not grace and it is not forgiveness! (See Ephesians 2:7-9)

Current mantra: May I breathe forgiveness

From Hope Against Darkness, p. 146

What do you struggle to forgive in yourself?

Excerpt from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 81, day 89 (Source: The Passion of God and the Passion Within)

There's no way we can love until we forgive ourselves for not being perfect, for not being the saints we once wanted to be. To use Franciscan imagery, until we've leapt across the chasm and embraced the leper, until we've recognized that really the leper is not on the other side of the chasm but the leper is, first of all, the leper within, we won't really know our passion, or be capable of com-passion. In his Testament Francis said that when he kissed the leper, “what before had been hateful to [him] became sweetness and light.”

His compassion for others coincided with a new compassion for himself. God’s compassion comes from a spacious place where a lot of things are put together and coexist, where we recognize, forgive and make friends with the enemy within. The passionate struggle with our own shadow becomes passion for the struggles of our neighbor.

Current mantra: May I breathe forgiveness

What does forgiveness do for us?

One could say that among the most powerful of human experiences is to give or to receive forgiveness. I am told that two-thirds of the teaching of Jesus is directly or indirectly about this mystery of forgiveness, God’s breaking of God’s own rules. That’s not surprising, because forgiveness is probably the only human action that reveals three goodnesses simultaneously:

1. When we forgive, we choose the goodness of the other over their faults;
2. We experience God’s goodness flowing through us; and
3. We also experience our own goodness in a way that almost surprises us.

That is an awesome coming together of power, and we know it is a power bigger than our own.

Current mantra: May I breathe forgiveness

From Hope Against Darkness, pp. 141, 143

excerpt from Daily Meditation: What does forgiveness do for us? May 3, 2009 cac@cacradicalgrace.org [cac@cacradicalgrace.org]