when your gram turns 97 and wants steak; she gets steak!

This past Sunday we celebrated my grandmother's 97th birthday by taking her to lunch for steak (guess i came by my steak loving honestly). If i can be 1/2 as sharp as she is when i turn 97, i'll be doing ok...oh yeah and she's highly mobile, smart, a great storyteller, and just got her first cell phone. on top of all that she is funny as well. AND don't even think of saying something you don't want her to hold you to because she doesn't forget anything. She is pretty dang amazing.

other peoples thoughts falling through my head

it is a frightening thing to open oneself to this strange and dark side of the divine; it means letting go our sane self-control, that control which gives us the illusion of safety. But safety is only an illusion, and letting it go is part of listening to the silence, and to the Spirit....

I realized the very vehemence of my reaction meant perhaps i should in fact stop and listen. The Spirit does not hesitate to use any method at hand to make a point to us reluctant creatures...

Listen to the silence. Stay open to the voice of the Spirit...

When I am constantly running there is no time for being. when there is no time for being there is no time for listening...

Madeline L'Engle (woman who wrote a wrinkle in time ... my first venture into science fiction as a kid)

suckling artifact

suckling artifact. remnant tubes, tire and baling wire.
~2' x 2' x 3'. 2008

freshly made.

artifact for bbap silent auction to be held at
BBAP 21st birthday party celebrating 21 years of public art in Houston...
Saturday, November 1, 2008, 7:30pm - 11:30pm
Architecture Center of Houston, 315 Capital, Houston, TX

Costumes to Cocktail... a Carnival. A night of fun, food, libations, entertainment and a silent auction.

It seems hard to believe that Buffalo Bayou ArtPark ("BBAP") is turning 21 this year. In many ways the last 21 years of BBAP have flown by, but in others ways BBAP is just now getting its stride as the premiere temporary public arts organization in Houston. So with a fond look back and with an optimistic view of the future BBAP looks to celebrate the last 21 years with BBAP's 21st Birthday Celebration on November 1, 2008. The evening will include all of the elements for a successful 21st birthday party, food, libations, entertainment, and a silent auction. So come join BBAP and lets put the FUN back into fundraising.

Pre-sale tickets are $25, or $20 if purchased in groups of six or more. At the door tickets will be $35. Sponsorship opportunities are also available.

gosh dang it.

make art or write she said while trying to smile. let things work themselves out in the making. let the angst, confusion, and fear out of the body through working it. breathe. breathe again. let the tears flow and meld with the work, but work. now get to it before i cry more and can't find the air in which to breathe! breathe. breathe. please breathe.

currently reading

as cheesy as it sounds, i am currently reading Getting the love you want by Harville Hendrix. Historically i would never have picked up such a book with it's cheesy self-help psycho babble title because i am a bit arrogant and think i am smart enough to figure out everything all by myself. But the year has revealed to me that i can't figure things out by myself and pulling myself up by the bootstraps of my steel toed boots doesn't really get me anything but a boot wedgy.

The world is not comprehensible,
but it is embraceable through
the embracing of one of its beings
Martin Buber

The man who desires to see the living God
face-to face does not seek God in the empty
firmament of his mind, but in human love.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky

so far the book, recommended by a good boxer friend, is very interesting. Just finished forward and found it very helpful and provoking me enough so that i want to continue reading.

treading where no one hears the echo of her footfall

tell me a story.

Tell me the story of when fire came down and consumed two souls into one, two melded not in sameness but in fiery harmony, where they fit together and made a wholeness, a rightness, a space of intimate belonging, where love and partnership merged in the flame, a love so deep the aching overwhelms. Tell me the story of the unfolding of the fragments of wholeness through the vehicle of love. Tell me the story of a fire that can burn me with goodness and beauty. Tell me this story, not one of shadows; one of hope, not hardening. Let me flee the shadows that are bleak with chill and harden my soul in areas that have only yet begun to thaw. Tell me the story of love and light, the one that draws back the curtains of my soul and beckons me to the scent of dawn. Tell me the story where I can know light, where I can flow into the future fully present, one where this gentler light warms the hard places of my soul. Tell me a story of fire.

I don’t want to hear the story of she who steals, who embraces the cold shadow of lie and self deception that dance teasingly over her heart.

I don’t want to hear her story of longing that goes empty, a space where she remains vacant and lost and wretches in the wilderness of her under grown soul.

I don’t want to hear the story of the girl who got lost in her head with a thought, an idea, who lost all sense of presence and found herself alone in the vacuous cavern of her own mind, treading where no one hears the echoes of her footfall.

treading where no one hears the echoes of her footfall. in process for show in the space of absence. exhibition at lawndale art center, late january 2009. ~12' x 6' x 4'. Remnant tubes, wire, thread, cinder blocks. in process.

I don’t want to hear the story of the girl who sacrificed herself for doing only what is right, who didn’t know love because she was to afraid of doing wrong.

I only want one story; I don’t want to hear the others for fear that they are me.