regardless of fault

that i forgive
myself

that i forgive
others

that i accept
receive
believe
the forgiveness
i am offered

that i keep forgiving
over and over
for as long as i am able

that i keep accepting
over and over
for as long as i am able

forgiveness, giving and receiving,
is the only thing worth focusing
my energies
my mind
my actions
on at this point

i believe the one who calls
calls me by name
would have this of me
it is the best i can do right now

it is all i could muster yesterday
it is all i can muster today
i hope it is what i muster tomorrow

forgiveness.

---

anger
blame
shame
defense
offense
rationalization
justification
judgment
enforcement
punishment
wrath

at self or others
are of no value to my soul
they serve no one

they only hurt
me
they only hurt
others
they only cause
hurt

---

i so suck at silence
but i really do try
no matter what others think
i do try

---

i so suck at word usage as well
"irregardless" of my intent

"...I once saw God’s mercy as patient, benevolent tolerance, a form of grudging forgiveness. Now it is apparent to me that Mercy is a divine understanding, a loving allowing, a willing “breaking of the rules” by the One who made the rules, a loving wink and smile, a firm and joyful taking of our hand—while we waste time clutching at our sins and gazing at God in desire and disbelief"

Adapted from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, pp 185 – 186, day 198 (Source “A Church Unashamed to Be Leaven and Salt”)

i try to follow his rules

i try to follow his rules
i try to follow them and keep his silence
so instead of communicating when
it makes sense; when it would be natural
to resolve things that come up in this horrible process,
dispel misunderstandings, get clarification, reduce fear
i hold it in; i stuff it per the required rules
then it leaks out through written correspondence
and by the time it leaks out
it is never pretty

it would be better just to have straight forward
communication

communication is a good thing
especially amidst painful processes

texts, emails, and the written word
are only good for processing but
not for communicating.
they often lead me
to misunderstanding
and misexpression
and deep hurt.

true communication occurs
when two sit down together
and talk WITH one another--
speaking and listening,
hearing the words, the body, the soul
and speaking in kind.

communications is a better way
then rules of silence and avoidance
which make things far worse

the rules of silence and avoidance
didn't work in the marriage
why would they work in its dissolution

Building

Again

Bridging the Gap Between People

To become neighbours is to bridge the gap between people. As long as there is distance between us and we cannot look in each other's eyes, all sorts of false ideas and images arise. We give them names, make jokes about them, cover them with our prejudices, and avoid direct contact. We think of them as enemies. We forget that they love as we love, care for their children as we care for ours, become sick and die as we do. We forget that they are our brothers and sisters and treat them as objects that can be destroyed at will. Only when we have the courage to cross the street and look in one another's eyes can we see there that we are children of the same God and members of the same human family.

reflection are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.

Who Is My Neighbor?

"Love your neighbour as yourself" the Gospel says (Matthew 22:38). But who is my neighbor? We often respond to that question by saying: "My neighbors are all the people I am living with on this earth, especially the sick, the hungry, the dying, and all who are in need." But this is not what Jesus says. When Jesus tells the story of the good Samaritan (see Luke 10:29-37) to answer the question "Who is my neighbor?" he ends the by asking: "Which, ... do you think, proved himself a neighbor to the man who fell into the bandits' hands?" The neighbour, Jesus makes clear, is not the poor man laying on the side of the street, stripped, beaten, and half dead, but the Samaritan who crossed the road, "bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them, ... lifted him onto his own mount and took him to an inn and looked after him." My neighbor is the one who crosses the road for me!

reflections are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.

i am a little slow, but i got it now

I am aware of what is--it was dramatically spelled out for me in silence and avoidance for six months, in documents I received this week, in the rare email and text message sent when i didn't seem to get it. I got it. I got it. I am a little slow on the uptake, but I got it now. It was made clear that what i thought, never was. The yellow that flutters its welcome evaporates into the delusion it is.

somethings just make sense when i read them, seeming as a natural rhythm

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

chalkboards primed, painted and ready for chalk

four boards 3x8' each
ready for thinking, processing, and erasing

I haven't seen mama dove in awhile so dont know that eggs are viable

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feet of shadows closes end of day July 4.

feet of shadows trudge this space of absence
solo exhibition of new works by Kathy Kelley
extended through July 4


the fear was hidden behind…, remnant tires, baling wire, on stands of remnant chandelier understructures, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

Another sweet spot in the Chronicle in context with John Chamberlain John Chamberlain influence is seen around town (that includes me :-) )
By DOUGLAS BRITT

Living Art interview KPFT 90.1 with Kathy Kelley, Michael Woodson, and Marcela Descalzi

Emerging artist's life has taken many turns | Fine Arts | Houston Chronicle Made the Houston Chronicle, written by DOUGLAS BRITT.