Friday, September 17, 2010

OMA

Oh My Arugula!
It's already sprouting! Dang I didn't expect that... I hope my sugar snap peas start popping up by Monday!

I love arugula (and chocolate gelato). I discovered these when my...ummm (not X because that is too much like scratching someone's eyes out or their face from photos, I suppose former is a more gentle wording, more in terms of the respect I have for her and the condition of my heart, but since she was my only in over two decades, my entire adult life, and i care deeply for her, i will simple refer to her as who she has been to me, my mother-in-law)...so my mother-in-law introduced me to these things as we traveled together when she invited and included me on a trip with her to Italy (rome and florence) and France (paris) in 2005. I never ever expected to, it never even entered my head that i could, get to travel to these places just to look at art, so it was a wonderful surprise, a geniune gift (it was the first time i ever cut school as well). Anyway, in these places, over our three week trip, I sought out contemporary art...Rodin. Picasso, Hesse, Debuffet, and so much more (and ate in little cafes and fine restaurants with she and Rod...thus arugual (and gelato)). So many wonders and works I had only read about and had seen in mere slides projected onto a wall in art history lectures, i now got to actually see. While on that trip I began the final pivotal transition from designer (invisible) to artist (visible)--though my whole life had been building to this point, traveling with her was that real snap moment. It is when i knew, that feeling of coming home to who i was meant to be and am, it was like stepping into my own skin for the first time in 44 years. It was on this trip that i began to follow the call on my life as artist. In a purpose driven life style were all things must clearly and overtly serve the creator, coming home to, an uncovering of, who i am as artist was disruptive and unsettling in spite of just being so right to how i am internally built and gifted. So huge changes began to manifest -- I became more comfortable with who I am, less timid, less dependent, more aware of were I felt wounded and God's healing call. Art seemed so purposeless, like entertainment, in so many ways it created a huge paradox and a new kind of anxiety in the world I resided in.  In trying to listen and follow, i have walked on unknown territory in which i have stumbled and fallen yet i am, at 48, still learning to walk. And as I keep getting back up (trying), I still limp from the many woundings. i assume i will always limp but i will walk.

Anyhow that is how arugala (and chocolate gelato) entered my life and that is when i overtly, with purpose, began following who I was create to be. All these things I will hold onto gently, as I am lead.

he leads me beside quiet waters
he makes me lie down in green pastures
and restores my soul.

I do love arugula; i really kind of hated salad (iceberg based) before i discovered arugula. now i am a saladaholic...plus steak (medium rare)!

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