it is

I can't decide if I am more overwhelmed by the feel of the wind through my hair, across my arms, whipping my shirt to and fro or the howl through the flailing vaulted tree canopies.

taped, floated, sanded, textured and primed

dry time then final color plus light fixtures.
TA-da. then on to next...item.

Fwd: loaded.

well, this is normal for me.

darke gallery deinstallation remnant

remnant

Closing reception Friday, Nov 18, 6-9 pm @ Darke Gallery

"If you didn't get to Austin to see the Texas Biennial"
Houston Press By Kelly Klaasmeyer

"​The show's title pretty much says it all: It's a group exhibition of Darke Gallery artists who were included in the 2011 Texas Biennial. There's some nice work here, and unlike most group shows, every artist deserves a mention. ... Kathryn Kelley has a fabulous installation in a narrow side
gallery, ..."

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/artattack/2011/11/if_you_didnt_get_to_austin_to.php

ok. pulled all out of context but good thoughts or goals none the less

"...seek...'sameness' and 'difference' in a perpetual state of mutual negotiations were neither swallows or ejects the other?...this shifting experience and thought are embodied...by an absence of fixity that attends to the ambiguous, the permutating, the composite, the flexible, the ephemeral...the image comes to mind is a web, a network of traces formed not from any a priori image but through the processes themselves...certain art practices separate themselves from the rise of repressive totalitarian systems." -- m. Catherine de Zegher

art speak easily overlays life speak.

also pulling out of context (in this case using in reading art) is the practice of Lectio Divina which is essentially trying to read a text with a life and spiritual openness allowing words that swim to the top or catch one's soul's attention to be reconsidered more mindfully.

so applying a spiritual practice to an art reading the things that jump off the page, screen, into the heart of my day, perhaps causing me pause and ponder:

1. fixity--well not for any deep reason except what an absolutely great bastardized word! I mean especially from the standpoint of being a Texan and all our fixin's. I've got to figure out how to embrace and use fixity in a texas style sentence or simply create a whole exhibition around the word. well after I use bellows--another great word.

2. neither swallows or ejects the other--good goal. yup. concur. I've found binary usually isn't productive life process because it creates an us against them; an I am good, therefore you must be bad, bad, bad, well and you are! so there blah blah. tongue handing out and finger flying metaphorically speaking. you know the drill. it's never good to create us and them camps...pretty much ensures someone must dies or be kicked into exile or fly planes into populated buildings. I suppose I could do my forty years in the desert based on the longevity of the women in my family that'd still give me almost ten years on the other side. though I generally prefer green so nix the forty and I don't want spring to just return to my step as I am turning ninety. so nix the forty; nix the desert; nix the exile; nix the camps; nix the binary.

3. image comes to mind is a web--oh crap. will I be caught, coated in the sick stickies and then eaten alive. eeek. nix that.

4. separate themselves from the rise of repressive totalitarian systems--again, good goal. but then "separate themselves" does bump right back into the binary of us and them, good and bad. ok well I do happen to think repressive and totalitarian are not the greatest of behaviors or systems to be a part of or ruled by--bad for all parties involved. so see there you go with me saying, us, them, bad, bad...guess I need to go fixitying up my binary thinking and attitudes.

so much for Lectio Divina. don't think my ramblings were stumbling much into the divine.

the woods still drip and are saturated a few inches deep

I've never seen fungus spring up so quickly and vividly. little moisture and rot really begins. the drought dedicated limbs creak and moan with the surface moisture that clings. there is the snort. focused on the fungus I didn't notice the deer fifty feet away--holding still waiting for me to go away. I guess I've deluded the male with his threatening snort because I've gone back to the porch so they can feed. and so they do and so close.

Yay + thank you. it did

a smidgen of water still standing plus flow patterns amongst the needles and almost an instant greening. not that I am not grateful, but more please.

really hopeful

hopeful that the microforest is getting a drench

cow pasture; rain required.

grade or mud slathering??!

mud slathering of course. dang. then grade! ok this is a bit of forward motion.

shower pan glue worked!!!

yay! just have to make myself wear my respirator since win California inhalation of fumes bad bad. was good and wore it for test gluing. clunk clunk jingle as a plunk back down my stairs, now back to home depot (buy stock!). pretty day.

bad bad orange light!!

blinking noise making tool = bad bad no touch! tool just sitting there unstimulated = good,though one must check to confirm it is actual toggled to ON!! all this just to ensure that yes you turned off the breaker; yes the switch is off and yes you can touch it now. this little tool gizmo = house warming gift from my dad! shocking but handy! (sorry i could not help myself--junior high humor not a new problem--it's just how am wired. OMG)

blue box sheetrock holes expunged (just wanted to use that word today. this is as closest I could get to using it correctly in a sentence this morning))

now install last blue box (unsquare box that is); daisy chain via twisty tying my electrical wires (according to code), check adhesive test sample for new drafting table surface (trying shower pan glue since rubbery self healing drafting surface seems shower panish--hope it works. if so, pick up some more to cover the 3x6 foot surface. then test one light deinstall, slam up special cut Sheetrock, tape, float, add silly texture so matches rest of wall, dry, paint, final twisty tie light install. shazam!!! now vent, flooring and sink plumbing! yea ha. oh yes play grading and crazy crit prep. ok ok. no not all today.

blue is the color of the day

blue tape marking studs to find later when Sheetrock hides their anchoring grain away, blue boxes (one more to go) to ensure code compliance, blue sky while porching it under the daylight's celestial vaulted canopy with my dad, the blue glint off my new galvanized ceiling fan installed, again blue glint off the blur of the chain turning saw my dad wields. blue. all this blue gives the illusion of leaps and bounds forward on the hermitage home front. reality is it moves forward beyond slow, it yawns like an open cavern of dreams yet to be lived. i am slow to move, slow to rise and I sit at its edge and hear the deer graze, the hawk glide; I sit at its edge and smell the pine and oak canopies rustle in song; I sit at its edge and caress the brittle grasses bend; I sit at its edge and consider stirring but instead sit still. I don't expect shyness to fade (though I mask it the best I can), I don't expect the naivety of believing people are profoundly good to dissipate (though I have become quite wary), i don't expect to wrangle multiple tasks or roles at once (though I get overwhelmed as I try), I don't expect people to be other than they are (though sometimes it hurts), i don't expect to not laugh again (though I oft cry), i don't expect decay to ebb and slow (though a nice thought), I don't expect to not be grateful (though I get clouded at times), I don't expect to forget (though I know I will).

galvanized ceiling fan installed. check.

to coordinate with home made galvinized chandilier across room. one free (harvested trash); ummmm, the other, definitely not free. ouch and not a home depot over the counter item. but the girl likes galvanized. not a new problem.

early morning view

still prone and cover bound.

sheesh I am getting high.

killing brain cells quickly. first round staining done. next sand (outdoors). stain again. perhaps more sanding. from there on to several coats of polyeurothane. dang and that' not my floor. I just freaking need a desktop upon which to work. my real lap of laptopping really doesn't work as a good long term study plan. i am still a bit old school and like to scatter books about and turn real pages (except when also driving), fold pages, write comments in every possible margin. I cannot do that all from my organic lap top. so my 6 foot beautiful drafting table I inherited/harvested from a friend's granddaddy's storage (a ship designer/builder...like real ships not leisure toys) seriously needs a new top. I started that this afternoon and pee-uuu brain death by staining indoors. I've opened the windows but nasal and brain relief is minimal. dang and I loaned out my real fans to my WASHers.

ok well I also did the easy task of cutting Sheetrock today as well. I contemplated electrical in bathroom. guess previous code didn't require electrical boxes as the wires just come through hole in Sheetrock. I'll check in with my supervisor (dad) tomorrow to see if I can do same or really should put the junk in a box. can already hear him...BOX. well plus I need to daisy chain some additional light fixtures to work off same switch. BOX. naturally I could not just buy a regular over the counter bathroom light bar for above the mirror! dang. but since I've built crazy galvanized light fixtures in living areas and my bed and future furniture are partially built from galvanized plumbing pipe (I harvested=free. same system I used for chandelier system), it seems fitting that bathroom light fixtures should feel similar. so I finally found some outdoor fixture that seem cool to me and in step with nutty other stuff I am doing. oh yes and ordered (not made or harvested) a galvanized ceiling fan for living room. all this to say it is good thing my dad has multiple degrees from MIT(side though: statement elementary school equivalent "my dad can beat up your dad!")cause I sure don't really understand electricity or nuclear powered ocean going vessels. ok. well I won't seek nuclear advise, or computer programming advice...just safe electricalling so I don't burn my house down. tomorrow is fatherly electrical supervision day. YES YES and chain saw lessons. and I do want lessons as once when I was getting my finger sewed up from a mere exacto finger filet wound (common to graphic designers) there were two guys in emergency room at same time and both had bounced their chain saws off their tibialis anterior (shin bone). OUCHY. ramble ramble.

nov 2011. a line but not even a bump of a scar. grose. they made me massage wound. yuk but that kept scar tissue from forming internal so that I could maintain full finger flicking range of motion!

dec 2002 (or was it 3). I would say ouchy cause it was just to yuk, but in fact it actually didn't hurt except when the OT would squeeze it. then my lip would sweat and I had to restrain myself from reaching across the table to sock her

I am blaming this rambling post on staining fumes and brain cell death!!

I love the last leg before landing

heavy sky. hopeful for its release

weather's fine and I really enjoy this time. change

it's so quiet I can hear life tic

cloaked in my black turtleneck
its weave warms instantly as the
sun's dapples, having fallen
between the limbs, strike

everything relaxed
I hear the tic of an occasional
winged callings across silent currents
spindled legs hum quietly yet frenetically in unknown languages
the rustled leaves shift during bushy tailed foraging
loud and louder still in the burst then again again

an intrusion of the ebbing stream
cedar panels echo with repetitive beatings

assuming a small flitting winged pecker
I rise, with a silent stalk to the edge, cornering MY shelter, i shoooo him off its protective facade.

MINE. not yours.
human cognition, fear, and thus possessiveness take over the moment
darn again

explains why heater kept kicking on all night

wasn't expecting this...

hmmm. was that a coyote or a petite wolf

definitely not domestic or feral dog. coyote, surely. but bigger than I would expect for the more delicate of my nightly howlers. neighbors claim we have both. hmmm. wolves seem like Alaska and movies, not my local predators. speaking of predators, my hawk left me a gift or droppings on my front porch the other day. oh yea dead rodent! yuck.

I love this bridge

today's weight lifting; the rest saved for another day; two or three more biomass piles to go

next degrading biomass pile components are a bit longer and have a far greater girth. my have to apply for some zurrrr, chain saw lessons before giving these a heavy hoe.

lots of trees turning now--not from summer to fall

pine, oak and others stand still clutching their dead leaves to their branches as the dwarfed grasses turn a little more tender in response to a rain. though death encroaches within my microforest, it is at a slower rate than what is scattered about as I stroll. i have lost more since the chains saws fell the last dozen. I leave them standing at this moment and wonder about to dos. again I worry with my lines, not for temporary losses that would ensue, but for fear of the cascading sparks that would dance sizzling to the dry floor.