Good thing I am not an engineer or architect and that I make gnarly art, so in the end the list will simply become a part of the piece. I suppose it is fitting since I naturally seem to list a little more to the right then the left.
"we bring our lares with us" - Louise Bourgeois
Well...of course, how could it be otherwise. Not a new thought, but always jumps off the page at me no matter the author.
Louise just past mid-ninety and still making art, yes, that is my goal, what I feel compelled toward, feel called to step into. And so I move forward bringing with me all that I am and no more.
I am yanking this quote a bit out of context, but would like to unpack it because I can feel the trickle of truth in it.
"Are you doing justice to the __, or just creating a petting zoo for religious __" Greg Wolfe, 1994
Specifically he is talking about the arts harvested and embedded in Art, faith, mystery -- Image, a visual arts and literary journal and wondering if he's just created a petting zoo for religious artists.
What strikes me about this is it's cross applicablity to all areas of calling.
How does this apply to me?
Do I have an expectation for others to create a religious petting zoo for my comfort--with Music? Community? Books? Church programming?
Do I cater to others needs for pretty comforts that numb them to their own callings that require courage, neutering and numbing even the calling on my own life?
in I breathe
Good news though is the piece rolls and will fit through double doors. In theory, no lifting.
Wooden discs are about 5' in diameter and distance between the two discs is 36" (and women and their works back door is 41"...so in theory this will roll into the gallery in March 2010).Needs serious refinement
>
What is it that I have
That I was not given
Even the air
I did not make it
I did nothing to deserve it
I did not cultivate it
It was just given
Ready for my harvesting
In I breathe
What of grief
Even that bears witness to gift
The gift of connection
Enflamed with ache
Because it exists
In the field of my heart
In I breathe
With ragged gasps
The gift
As he explored a scant distance from where I propped my feet. I know he exists and don't mind the cohabitation so long as he stays hidden away, but when he scurries in his arrogance with his brazen mindset, in the broad daylight, his furry little ass across the floor in such close proximity to where I lay my head in slumber, he must die!!!! Armed with a fresh set of glue traps and poison, I will end this before the day is through!!!
I am pretty sure sleep will elude me this very eve!
Gosh dang mouse!
"when we are prejudice against another, we can reduce the other to something non-human. If we truly saw each other as human beings all created in God's image, it would be hard to be so destructive toward each other." -Marsha Mirkin, PHD
Who do I dehumanize? Who do I destruct? Who do I de-construct? And as I open my eyes to my actions, will I be too ashamed to change? Too angry to change? Or will I hope enough in light and goodness to change and value?
Will I begin changing my actions to humanize and honor another as being of value and infinite worth?
Will I harden myself, ploughing on, and solidify my rationale?
What are the ramifications to the other, to those who stand in proximity, to myself, to the trickel into the present, into the future?
Will I construct and build?
Will I de-construct and destroy?
Melissa L drawing Melissa
Melissa L drawing Melissa
Melissa L drawing Melissa
Melissa L drawing Melissa
Melissa L drawing Melissa
Rachel drawing Rachel
Rachel drawing Rachel
Rachel drawing Rachel
Rachel drawing Rachel
Rachel drawing Rachel
Jeremy of Jeremy
Jeremy of Jeremy
Jeremy of Jeremy
Jeremy of Jeremy
Jeremy of Stephanie
Kimi of Kimi (Tuesday)
Kimi's evolution from Tuesday and then several explorations on Thursday
Kimi of Kimi
Kimi of Kimi
Ethan of Ethan
Caitlyn of Caitlyn
Caitlyn of Caitlyn
Caitlyn of Caitlyn
top is Sarah's Tuesday exploration;
bottom is her exploration in trying not to outline
and is much more expressive and three dimensional
Sarah of Sarah
Stephanie of Stephanie (Tuesday)
Stephanie of Stephanie (Thursday)
KP of KP (Tuesday)
and trying not to outline so much, but to explore the inner shapes.
KP of KP (Thursday)
Melissa V struggled with lines being too pretty (though this does look like her and captures her smiling nature)
Melissa V struggled with lines being too pretty SO we explored drawing with the left hand just to see. Thought this drawing is not pretty, it is strong and expressive.
the ghosting technique is extremely helpful in helping the student find their subject. note melissa's early drawing and then were it is an hour and a half later.
melissa l of melissa v, early in the afternoon
melissa l of melissa v, late afternoon
Jeremy of Jeremy
technique: ghost drawing--repetitive gestures, wiping image away after each gesture and then comparing residual image to actual object and making adjustments with each gesture. this process is repeated about 10 times until the student finds their subject. they then begin erasing high lighted areas working their erasure strokes in a cross contour fashion. not only is it fun, but the students are usually able to capture the feel of their subject.
aerli of aerli
thomas of thomas.
thomas forgot to bring a mirror and adapted by using the video feed off of his phone.
stephanie of david
melissa l of melissa l
mike of melissa l, early afternoon
mike of melissa l, late afternoon
david of edwin
KP of KP. using only straight lines
keely of keely, early afternoon
keely of keely, late afternoon
couple of problems i am running into with these explorations are 1) too much outlining 2) too many closed forms (which still goes back to the problem with outlining) versus open (think geometry). need to work on communicating this idea of closed/open shapes...
Re-purposing 8' diameter megaphone-like structures with additional elements to appear to be squishing out of ceiling and wall.
there is a 14" gap at the top of the wall that leads into an adjacent gallery space, the units will appear to be oozing through this gap and be in both spaces.
"Why God chooses to answer some prayers and not others, I do not know. All I know for certain is that it's always right to ask."
A quote from a quote off a friend's blog.
hurt begets hurt
which in turn begets
hurt
which ripples
linearly and laterally
with a ferocious push out
into the future through
generations, through lifetimes,
through what is forgotten and
yet to be known
clinging to each swell
blame is a fruitless fathoming
leaving the heart empty
in cold abandoned tatters
adrift, unrescued
the only thing that impedes the push
is, as one is able,
to navigate one's own actions and heart,
bestowing acts of mercy and forgiveness*
both inward and outward
all else accelerates the linear and lateral
waves of harm that emanate
as through a portal from each of us.
----------
*bestowing acts of mercy and forgiveness
casts ripples that not only impede those of harm
but redirect them for good
if you've got some belts you want to dispose of, i'll take them and embed them in an upcoming piece of art i am making.
Drop 'em by my studio at BOX 13 ArtSpace (6700 Harrisburg 77011) or if you see my truck toss them in the back.
Box 13 Artspace: The latest round of exhibits kicks off from 7-9:30 p.m. Saturday at 6700 Harrisburg.
CHOOSE LIFE—CHOOSE DEATH
There is a darkness that we are all led into by our own stupidity, by our own selfishness, blindness, or by just living out of the false self. And there is a darkness that I believe God leads us through for our own enlightenment. In both cases, we have to walk through these dark periods by brutal honesty, confessions, surrenders, letting go, forgiveness, and often by some necessary restitution, apology or healing ritual. I still hear of Vietnam vets who feel they must go back to Vietnam and help some Vietnamese children to be healed.
Different vocabularies would have called these acts of repentance, penance, mortification, dying to self, or ego stripping. By any account it is major surgery and surely feels like dying (although it also feels like immense liberation). We need help and comfort during these times. We must let ourselves be led by God and also by others. But how can we know the light if we’ve never walked through the darkness?
Taken from Hope Against Darkness, pp. 165, 173
Current Mantra:
Lord, teach me to choose life
Thoughts from Fr. Richard Rohr, Fall 2009
Meditations from Richard Rohr
Of Center for Action and Contemplation www.cacradicalgrace.org
Rachel of Kim
Rachel of Kim
Caitlyn of Edwin
Caitlyn of Edwin
Keely of Melissa L
Keely of Melissa L
Melissa L of Kimi
Melissa L of Kimi
Jeremy of Aerli
David of Melissa V
David of Melissa V
Stephanie of Melissa V
Ethan of KP
Ethan of KP
Jeremy of David
Stephanie of David
Stephanie of David
Stephanie of David
Stephanie of Jeremy
Kimi of Keely
Kimi of Keely
KP of Mike
KP of Mike
KP of Mike
Melissa V of Stephanie
Rachel of Aerli
using only straight lines as though they were working a 2 or 3 point perspective (self portraits and portraits of classmates)
Melissa L
Rachel
Rachel of Kevin
Melissa V of David
Melissa V
Kim of Rachel
Aerli
David
Mike of Keely
Ethan of Mike
Caitlyn of Sarah
Caitlyn
Stephanie of Melissa
Melissa L
Keely
Kimi of Keely
Kimi
I beat my head on the same wall
still believing that goodness
is more real than malice
more real than historical hurts
more real than secret shadows
i choose to believe
goodness and mercy reside there
as well, in these hiding places
I work to look past the visible;
I continue to move toward walking and gifting
mercy, goodness and forgiveness
So I focus on opening and listening
and what i hear:
it is time, kathy, to gently stand up
stand up, kathy
and i will
as gently as i can
in spite of what i see
Opening Saturday, November 14
7-9:30 pm
BOX 13 ArtSpace
We must go through the stages of feeling, not only in the last death of anything but all the earlier little deaths. If we abort these emotional stages by easy answers, all they do is take a deeper form of disguise and come out in another way. So many people learn that the hard way—by getting ulcers, by all kinds of psycho-somatic diseases, depression, chronic irritability, and misdirected anger—because they refuse to let their emotions run their course, honor them consciously, or find some appropriate place to share them.
Emotions are not right or wrong, good or bad. They are merely indicators of what is happening, and must be listened to, usually in the body. People who do not feel deeply finally do not know or love deeply either. It is the price we pay for loving. Like Job we must be willing to feel our emotions and come to grips with the mystery in our head, our heart, and our body. To be honest, that takes years.
From Job and the Mystery of Suffering: Spiritual Reflections, pp.54-55
Richard Rohr
Back to "real" drawing. Ok well at least the kind of experimentation that appeals to me.
Here students are playing with 2d texture by drawing with non art objects (like combs, rubberbands, leaves, etc) while drawing eggs.
To the tune of two hundred million dollars for alledgedly failing to work in her clients best interest. I assume it is a frivolous case grasping for funds, but none the less it is a case launched out of a sense of perceived failure to accurately and timely communicate with her client, in her clients' best interest.
Reference: Houston chronicle.
A helpful poem about where you belong.
But interestingly it was the phrase
the stones of your dreams
that jumps off the page for me
I think it is the ambiguity of the word stones--millstones, stones for throwing, Stones that break bones, foundational stones, corner stone, stones that sit in the pit of ones stomach
and the lines
The energy of delight will
carry you home
because they seem so counter to how I have lived yet this delight is throughout the primary text that is significant to me in guiding me on my path.
sex differences:
do they influence the way you respond
to deep wounding within a partnership?
difference 1
women try to preserve (maybe we can work it out)
men turn and run (don't bother to come back)
difference 2
women get depressed
men get angry
difference 3
women feel inadequate as a companion
men feel inadequate as a lover
difference 4
women obsess
men distract themselves
not my words, simply something i've read and have experienced it to be so on many fronts, not just this painful year but for a long time in many different ways
i can't decide if this is helpful to me or not. perhaps only in knowing i guess things play out in patterns
reference for 1-4 from authors Janis Abrams Spring, phd, with Michael Spring
The proBlem with remaining open is that it leAves me vulnerable, it leaves me exposed; but worse, for me, would be to close over and become hard, deaf, mute, and withdrawn. For me openness is what I need no matter others' behaviors. some would say i am hard, deaf, and/or withdrawn, but i have never stopped listening, i have not stopped working through what i heard and hear.
Yet I find when I run into certain people whom judged me harshly from an alienated distance and have advised others in how I should be dealt with, my first reaction is a physical rigidity. I must then work through conscious efforts of my own to release my reactionary judgment of them. It is very hard to remain open and not to protect and respond with reciprocal pecking order judgments of my own.
It is burdensome to judge others, far more so than it is to be judged. I shall try to carry the light load of others judgment on my soul while I set down the bone crushing burdening of judging them in return.
even the light load of judgment tends to be bone crushing when one is on bended knee.
Somethings don't change--I keep believing that others' goodness will out weigh their shadows. And as I do, I beat my head on the same wall, believing that goodness is more real than malice, more real than historical hurts, more real than secret shadows. i choose to believe goodness and mercy reside there as well.
I work to look past the visible; I continue to work at walking and gifting mercy, goodness, and forgiveness. So I focus on opening and listening.
first put your big mama staple gun in your pocket (this requires big pockets as every woman should have) lest the tube flee in fright and then reach and ...
installing the fracture between us yawns as a cavern so wide, i close my eyes to feel the bruise of soul at lonestar college kingwood last week for the exhibition i breathe (or at least i try)
...and then cleaning up a bit
ladder will help give you a sense of scale
pics shot by students of kingwood and stolen from their blog
...instead, kathy, keep bringing your focus and actions back to mercy, kindness, forgiveness, blessing and being open to God's lead, all else is crap. stop stepping in it and don't be the doormat on which it is wiped either.
i hear the words
mounded high on my bones
set aside in silence
they are silently repeated
just in case i cannot feel
their crushing weight
i hear the words echo
i sift them as i can
set aside what i am able
for the distortion
i know them to be
but because i habitually listen
habitually ponder
they climb back on
in their repetitive repetition
and as they were intended
they make their crushing blow and
just in case i had not been
on bended knee from my fall
they shove me down
with their intention
of course i carry these words
words which tell me who i am
they are not new words
strapped upon my back
i have carried their weight
for two decades now
believing them so long and
when i began to see through them
to see them for what
they were and are
they are repeated
lest i forget
who i have been told
i am to be
not new words
not mine
not me
i cannot carry them
bent knee or not
i cannot bear them
i cannot bare them
as you would have of me
Head west on ten, then north on 59, and west on Kingwood drive, north
at first stop sign, find some parking and head to student center/
theatre.
Done installing this one. Henry Moore says that early in a sculptors career they tend to work shallow. I can see this in terms of not resolving my work in all three dimensions, meaning certain sides of this piece work and then other fees are a bit ify.
No injuries except minor art inflictions and no rain during transport. Lots of sore backs and everyone will probably pop an aleve or two or something stronger.
it went from this
...if you can
send no word silently healing, I
mean if it is not proper or realistic
to send word, actual lips saying
these broken sounds, why, may we be
allowed to suppose that we can work
this stuff out the best we can and
having felt out our sins to their
deepest definitions, may we walk with
you as along a line of trees, every
now and then your clarity and warmth
shattering across our shadowed way:
(a poem by a.r. ammons)
So like human weirdness.
Our understanding of one another is so limited by the way we measure, the way we interpret, the box we put the other in; we often loose sight of the beauty of the multidimensional gifted light within the other. And it is there; it does not just stop or go away.
What is scary, is not the one we try to box, but the box itself and how it impacts the other and the tester. it leaves no room for the healing light, it leaves no room to move in new ways for tested and tester.
5w x 9h x 6d (in feet)
remnant tubes, cinder blocks (expect more), baling wire, steel frame
for upcoming solo exhibition
i breathe (or at least i try)
artist talks and reception:
thursday, october 15, 6:30 pm (5:30 - 7:00 pm)
monday, october 19, 12:45 pm (12:30 - 2 pm)
gallery hours 10:30 am - 5 pm
closes november, 13
lonestar college, kingwood campus
20000 kingwood drive
sfa building
indoor gallery and outdoor public works
