mumbling to myself aloud, in public. at times it is embarrassing, but it is as it is.
I know you're expecting art!
It is here, but interwoven / embedded with cyber residue of life.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Will I be able to taste the scent of the forest?
Will you come with me to the mountains?C.S. Lewis
It will hurt at first, until your feet are hardened.
Reality is harsh to the feet of shadows.
But will you come?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
sewing on work for in the space of absence
Thursday, November 20, 2008
the dust is kicked up as the cleaning proceeds
ARTCRAWL
Saturday, November 22, 2008
10 am to 8 pm
BOX 13 ArtSpace
open studios and gallery
6700 Harrisburg (77011)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
in the space of absence coming to lawndale january 23, 2009
Sunday, November 16, 2008
in the space of absence travels
as did the piece clawing for eden. A big thank you to Hector, Jaime and Michael as well as the City of Nuevo Laredo for the opportunity.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
stitching and sewing like a mad dog
Monday, November 10, 2008
freedom dwindles.
When language becomes exhausted, our freedom dwindles—we cannot think; we do not recognize danger; injustice strikes us as no more than “the way things are.”
Saturday, November 08, 2008
to affirm meaning
to hear a melody and set the notes down for a string quartet (to make), is to affirm meaning, despite all the ambiguities and tragedies and misunderstanding which surrounds usMadeleine L'Engle
you must once and for all give up being worried about successes and failures. Don't let that concern you. It's your duty to go on working steadily day by day, quite quietly, to be prepared for mistakes, which are inevitable, and for failures.Tchekov
Friday, November 07, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
rebellion?
that i am
brave to fight my terror
that i am
forthright to fight my hypocrisy
this feels right and then they asked about my rebellion and i don't know the answer. i do know that i rebel. but i think all these concepts/feelings/behaviors tie together bravery and terror, forthrightness and hypocrisy. they seem to be both the light and dark side of my rebellion. i say dark and light because some rebellion is needed, is good, especially in our culture which as a whole distracts, diverts and pacifies us from actually paying attention to what is happening around us--so that we do not rebel. so rebellion in me is needed, but it also is destructive when i rebel against good things within me and others, when i rebel as a defense from an imaginary foe.
am i rebellious to fight artificial constructs of oppression both culturally and within my self?
am i rebellious to hide my fear, my terror?
where does my rebellion come from?
how do i use it for good? how do i stop using it as a shield, a deflection, against others and myself?
i stand in the rubble of my crumbled tower.
It's all a front, a great big game of pretend
inside we are terribly scared
inside we are terribly sad
inside we are terribly afraid
we found a way to cover our fears
we found a way to cover our sadness
we found a way not to have to cry
to always pretend that we are certain
to always pretend that we are right
to always pretend that we are in control
to always pretend that we understand
but we know better inside
but at this point we have almost begun to believe the lie ourselves
Fr. Richard
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
view from my rocking chair
that i loved deeply and had rich friendships
that i helped others find deeper meaning on their own paths
that i was not afraid to laugh or cry
that i knew joy
that i was not afraid of hardship and change
yes and from my rocking chair i would still like to be making art and writing and mentoring and loving, but not in isolation but that i would be connected to others, to myself, to god
that i took time to walk, to feel the sun on my face
that i gave myself in love
that i gently and givingly held my love with care
that i did not hoard my love, energy, mind, or soul
that i had gratitude for both the gifts and hardships
that as i rock i would still be able to breathe in joy, know connection
art is important but it is nothing in comparison to love and life
so what is my BHAG (big hairy audacious goal)
to love richly and givingly
Monday, November 03, 2008
how does one generate emotional capital to make changes
i continue to look at the role of making, writing, mentoring and loving in my life. and looking at how to grow in the areas that have atrophied and trust the areas that are strong.
quoting from my own journey into becoming ...
I have reached that space in life where my strength of ego and self-will allow me, draw me, to take the risk of “becoming.” Becoming who I am, not that self defined by “shoulds.” Change is difficult. Self sabotage common. Yet, I am moving into that self that has been simmering below my surface for a very long time.-----I am consumer, lover of stuff.
I am female, pink appeals.
I am forty-four, decay has begun.
I am visual, language challenged.
I am seeker, life teaches.
I am designer, anally fixated.
I am watcher, society astounds.
I am pattern seer, micro macro, macro micro.
I am dysfunction, I function.
I am spiritual, Christ calls.
I am tactile, let me touch it.
I am American, arrogance assumed.This surfaced self binds together the fragments of my many selves into a unit, into a whole. And as I step into this whole/fragmented self...I find myself. Deep satisfaction. Maturation.
My should self has never known passion. My ... self has been safe. An electric current of fear courses through me as passion moves to the forefront. Art informs my design. Design informs my art. AND ALL THESE GOD USES TO INFORM AND TRANSFORM MY LIFE. I step to the edge of change and waiver there. The safe and unsafe are merging and I am becoming. (2005)
As scared as I am of my dreams and to move away from safety, I cannot allow myself to be swallowed by fear. It is no longer an option to be paralyzed by fear, it is no longer an option to allow my roots to remain thirsty, but i must also understand that within myself the cultivation of emotional capital to change requires more than a week or two and i must be willing to do the work.NOT TO BE SAFE
I step to the edge of change and wavier there until my own demons pull me back. No. I choose to follow them back. I give myself over. Change is screaming to me and I know it is what I need, what I want. What I CRAVE!
Simultaneously, the lure of safe sameness calls to me, beckoning me back from the edge, yet I find that my toes curl tightly to this edge. I am stretched, torn, yet, I am not returning to the safe sameness! I will process the fear, redirect it. I am not beating my head on the same wall, or at least it looks different, feels different...is different?
What is not different are the demons. They are not new. Every time I step into/toward change, they approach me—steal my thoughts, riveting them on old fears. I require, demand, to push through, not to give in, NOT TO BE SAFE.
I have chosen not to dream, but now they break over me in a rushing onslaught. Not the dream of sleep have I fled, but the dream of future-casting. And now I taste the dream rolling across the back of my tongue and it scares the hell out of me! (2006)
Sunday, November 02, 2008
what is grief?
Saturday, November 01, 2008
the big picture
- MAKING allows me to discover things
about my world and self that would
otherwise remain submerged and unattainable;
it brings me joy, dirt and laughter - MENTORING (teaching) gets me outside of myself,
teaches me, helps me unlearn what doesn't belong;
it brings me delight and purpose - WRITING connects me through silence to my self,
God, the world and others; helps me remember
who I am and am becoming and how i fit;
it brings me faith; it reveals my wounds;
it opens me - LOVING fills my body and soul,
it connects my fragments of being
it gives me the desire to both give and receive;
it strengthens me; it brings me hope.
*eating refers to the daily details of things i need to do in order to have food, shelter and such.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
when your gram turns 97 and wants steak; she gets steak!
This past Sunday we celebrated my grandmother's 97th birthday by taking her to lunch for steak (guess i came by my steak loving honestly). If i can be 1/2 as sharp as she is when i turn 97, i'll be doing ok...oh yeah and she's highly mobile, smart, a great storyteller, and just got her first cell phone. on top of all that she is funny as well. AND don't even think of saying something you don't want her to hold you to because she doesn't forget anything. She is pretty dang amazing.
other peoples thoughts falling through my head
it is a frightening thing to open oneself to this strange and dark side of the divine; it means letting go our sane self-control, that control which gives us the illusion of safety. But safety is only an illusion, and letting it go is part of listening to the silence, and to the Spirit....Madeline L'Engle (woman who wrote a wrinkle in time ... my first venture into science fiction as a kid)
I realized the very vehemence of my reaction meant perhaps i should in fact stop and listen. The Spirit does not hesitate to use any method at hand to make a point to us reluctant creatures...
Listen to the silence. Stay open to the voice of the Spirit...
When I am constantly running there is no time for being. when there is no time for being there is no time for listening...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
suckling artifact
suckling artifact. remnant tubes, tire and baling wire.
~2' x 2' x 3'. 2008
freshly made.
artifact for bbap silent auction to be held at
BBAP 21st birthday party celebrating 21 years of public art in Houston...
Saturday, November 1, 2008, 7:30pm - 11:30pm
Architecture Center of Houston, 315 Capital, Houston, TX
Costumes to Cocktail... a Carnival. A night of fun, food, libations, entertainment and a silent auction.
It seems hard to believe that Buffalo Bayou ArtPark ("BBAP") is turning 21 this year. In many ways the last 21 years of BBAP have flown by, but in others ways BBAP is just now getting its stride as the premiere temporary public arts organization in Houston. So with a fond look back and with an optimistic view of the future BBAP looks to celebrate the last 21 years with BBAP's 21st Birthday Celebration on November 1, 2008. The evening will include all of the elements for a successful 21st birthday party, food, libations, entertainment, and a silent auction. So come join BBAP and lets put the FUN back into fundraising.
Pre-sale tickets are $25, or $20 if purchased in groups of six or more. At the door tickets will be $35. Sponsorship opportunities are also available.
gosh dang it.
currently reading
The world is not comprehensible,so far the book, recommended by a good boxer friend, is very interesting. Just finished forward and found it very helpful and provoking me enough so that i want to continue reading.
but it is embraceable through
the embracing of one of its beings
Martin Buber
The man who desires to see the living God
face-to face does not seek God in the empty
firmament of his mind, but in human love.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Friday, October 24, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
tell me a story.
I don’t want to hear the story of she who steals, who embraces the cold shadow of lie and self deception that dance teasingly over her heart.
I don’t want to hear her story of longing that goes empty, a space where she remains vacant and lost and wretches in the wilderness of her under grown soul.
I don’t want to hear the story of the girl who got lost in her head with a thought, an idea, who lost all sense of presence and found herself alone in the vacuous cavern of her own mind, treading where no one hears the echoes of her footfall.
I don’t want to hear the story of the girl who sacrificed herself for doing only what is right, who didn’t know love because she was to afraid of doing wrong.
treading where no one hears the echoes of her footfall. in process for show in the space of absence. exhibition at lawndale art center, late january 2009. ~12' x 6' x 4'. Remnant tubes, wire, thread, cinder blocks. in process.
I only want one story; I don’t want to hear the others for fear that they are me.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
it whispers my name.
swells in me
there is a splintering
at the horizon of today
fragments of yesterday
and tomorrow
and i listen at this abyss
as the beyond beckons me
with its urgency and passion
i open my splintered self to it
and it whispers
my name
Sunday, September 21, 2008
reading...
"if we can free ourselves from our robot-like habits of predictability, repetition and function, we begin to walk differently..."
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
in the space of absence (january 2009 coming)
Thursday, August 07, 2008
...gnawing hunger
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
when i don't want things to be too thin
A couple of quotes are helping me find my footing…I’ve smushed them into one.
“when you accumulate experience at such a tempo [were greed for destination obliterates the journey] everything becomes thin.”
How do I obliterate? What are the destinations I obliterate? What is it that I am trading for destination? What is the fear that accelerates me to my destination and therefore bypass the journey? Will I blink and be done?
Sunday, July 27, 2008
i weep
the kiss of the wind, richer
the depth of the pools
in the shadows of remnant souls
in which i swim
more liquid with sounds
laughter and grief
again i weep
where is this well
of the rivulets of salt
that stream hot
spring
i am ice
how is it
that i melt
that i become
less vacant
less lost
making stems
from my angst
if i slide
into the embrace
of the beautiful
that is so swift
to steal me
into its arms
of sheer grace,
that breathes
open my heart
so unexpectedly
if it awakens in me, joy
where then will
my work manifest
who will i be
who am i
the ground shifts
below my feet
how is this so
i weep
so afraid
of striping
this thing
i’ve found
of its goodness
yet
my life
is better
for this
ache
Friday, July 25, 2008
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
...once unthinkable
Latest BOX 13 project
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
grrrrr.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Artist talks and tour of Cohesive Discord @ the Houston Arts Alliance
Artist talks/tours brown bag style.
You are invited to hear the stories behind the art of "Cohesive Discord" when Kathy Kelley, Elaine Bradford and David Waddell host a bring-your-lunch tour of the show at noon today. space125gallery, 3201 Allen Parkway (Houston Arts Alliance). Parking is available in the Houston Center for the Arts lot on D'Amico Street (on the south side of the building) at a rate of $2 per car.
Cohesive Discord
Artist talks and tour (brown bag)
Noon
Houston Arts Alliance
July 1, 2008
11:30 – noon Meet & greet
Noon - Artist Talks/tour
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
unreasonable art, I make; pretentious artist, I am
muchness and manyness
in my hunger
for muchness and manyness
-------------------
I am so very small
the fracture between us
yawns as a cavern
so wide I close my eyes to feel
the bruise of soul
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Opening June 19 from 6-8 pm
at space125gallery at Houston Arts Alliance
June 19 to August 08, 2008
OPENING RECEPTION : Thursday, June 19, 2008, 6 p.m. - 8 p.m.
Cohesive Discord
Join space125gallery as we host Cohesive Discord, a site-specific installation featuring eleven artists from BOX 13 ArtSpace. Participating artists have created site-specific works that pensively engulf & personify space125gallery. Each artist has individually worked in his or her medium of expertise but within their collaborative teams has articulated his/her work in an unexpected way. This is the first time BOX 13 artists will be exhibiting collectively in Houston. The exhibit opens on June 19 and will remain on view through August 8, 2008.
Participating artists include: Anila Quayyum Agha, Elaine Bradford, Teresa O'Connor, Lisa Marie Godfrey, Woody Golden, Michael Henderson, Kathy Kelley, Jennie Nuttal, Whitney Riley, Mat Wolff and David Waddell
BROWN BAG ARTIST TOUR/TALK WITH
Elaine Bradford, David Waddell and Kathy Kelley
Tuesday, July 1 noon to 1
Bring your own lunch to space125gallery
3201 Allen Parkway (MAP)
Houston, TX 77019
Created to promote dialogue amongst artists and viewers. Please reply if you are planning to attend this event by contacting crystal@haatx.com
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
this is always about that
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
desKILLED academy (Eeyore ramblings)
title
date
material
artist name
hum. lucky for me, when i have to work so hard at sewing poorly -- anti-craft, anti-machine -- a production that is purely humanizing, sensuallizing.
how do i avoid moving from artist to strategist, from maker to machine producing just another consumable? how do i not become the very thing i rail against for it is in my nature to be judgmental, hypocritical, and much conflicted...the very thing i hate, i catch glimpses of myself doing.
"every poet and musician and artist, but for grace, is drawn away from the love of the thing he tells, to the love of the telling..." cs lewis.
when is art no longer art?
when is life no longer life?
when am i no longer me?
what happens when i become truly desKILLED?
Monday, May 12, 2008
I leak.
I miss hearing his term of endearment, "damn it, Kathy!"
I miss his laugh.
I miss his teasing.
I miss his wisdom.
I miss his practicality.
I miss his high expectations.
I miss seeing his pleasure at a job well done!
I miss my friend Bill Marshall.
His absence creeps up on me most unexpectedly.
I don't mind my own decay but death sucks.
It leaves a hole in me.
I find that I leak a little more each day.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
heaven
the pleasure of harvesting from the urban waste stream is all mine.
sketching with the remainder
i am still working on how to use this idea in a public setting were the tires don't spill over and hurt someone. when resolved, shazam.
cohesive discord process
Monday, May 05, 2008
ARTSlant interview with Kathy Kelley
I was interviewed by Georgia Fee and the ARTslant team for their San Francisco art community website. The site is similar to Texas' www.glasstire.com.
You can read the interview here: ARTslant SF rackroom
Needless to say my ego and resume are pleased.
kk
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Me on the cover
Me on the cover of ArtsHouston magazine, May 2008 edition.
Paint donated by New Living and Photo by Kara Duval.
No the issue isn't all about me or about me even a little, I just happen to be on the cover. I was however featured in this magazine in the article, When art Goes Green in Houston, in the April 2008 edition (ArtsHouston).
Sidenote: You should have seen the funky sunburn I got from doing this...let’s just say paint makes a great sunblock and I forgot to put sunscreen everywhere else.
Friday, April 11, 2008
feet of shadows
i swoon distance
and am found in the flatness
of a memory not my own
an undifferentiated abyss
of sameness
feet of shadows
trudge this space
of absence.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Be a BOX amigo
Saturday, April 12 & 19, 10 am -5 pm
WE NEED HELP prepping the walls for paint in our gallery spaces. Bring your friends, tell your students and come on down to the Box. This is another great opportunity to preview the galleries and studios while getting to know the resident artists and become an official BOX Amigo! Don’t miss the fun!
Saturday, April 12, 10 am - 5pm
We will be wiping down the walls. Also laying plastic and taping off areas to protect from paint splatters.
BRING (if possible): bucket, sponges, towels.
Oh, and cold beer provided.
Saturday, April 19, 10 am - 5pm
We will priming the walls.
BRING (if possible): paint roller and fresh pad for semi smooth/rough surface.
Oh, and cold beer provided.
BOX 13 ArtSpace is a nonprofit artist run innovative environment for the creation and advancement of experimental contemporary art in Houston. BOX 13 artists create this environment through the offering of affordable workspaces for emerging and established artists, dedicating three interior spaces to the exhibition of artistic explorations, a window gallery for installations and an outdoor performance exhibition space. BOX 13 promotes dialogue among artists and the art community on current trends affecting the arts.
The founding members of BOX 13 are Elaine Bradford, Woody Golden, Michael Henderson, Young-Min Kang, Kathy Kelley, Teresa O'Connor, Whitney Riley and Mat Wolff.
BOX 13 is a nonprofit corporation.
BOX 13 at HAA: cohesive discord
The melding of process, medium and ego with another in the act of collaboration doesn’t always result in the expected. But to hell with the results, the whole process in and of its self is a bit uncomfortable, unsettling. Why should one chose to participate in this self-infliction of agreed upon ego alliance? An occasional unsettling, a little discomfort, can propel one, whether artist or audience, to think a little different, be a little different. It allows for the unexpected, uncovers alternative slants, dislodges wrong assumptions, moves us outside of our proverbial BOX.
BOX 13 collaborating artists: Elaine Bradford, Lisa Godfry, Woody Golden, Michael Henderson, Kathy Kelley, Teresa O'Connor, Anila Quayyum Agha, Whitney Riley, Mat Wolff, and David Waddell.
Exhibition June-August 2008 (Opening date TBA)
space123gallery
3201 Allen Parkway, Suite 250
Houston, TX 77019