i love to play hide and seek with children because it is so fun and joyous to find them because they want to be found.
they hide in the most obvious places and when i even kind of get close as i seek them, even when i pretend not to see them, they burst out of their hiding place with gusts of laugher beaming with smiles on their little faces and run right to me because they are so glad to be found by me. they want to be found. and what do i do when i find them, just as you do, i grab them, hug them, spin them round and laugh with them every time because i am just as happy as they are to find them. and then we play again and again because they love to be found.
i am looking for you.
will you allow me to find you?
2 comments:
i will stop looking for you now. if you had wanted to be found by me, you would have let me know.
I do have the smallest glimmer of understand that for the past two and a half decades that perhaps you did want to be found by me, just that no one taught you how to stop hiding. as a child there was not a perceived safe place in which to be found. It all makes me so beyond deeply sad that I never figured out how to find you. I never figured out how to create a safe enough space for you to feel like you could come out. I never figured it out. I did want to. I did try. Just not in the way you needed. I am so sorry I gave up trying.
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