Father's Day

It is a good day.
I love my dad.
Am especially glad that he specifically is my dad.
He is a very good dad.
He listens carefully.
He cries with me.
He gives me hugs.
He listens some more.
He encourages me.
He helps me think positive thoughts.
He wants good things for me.
He worries about me.
He lets me help him as well.
He tells me things; i listen.
He is especially smart and helpful.
He takes very good care of my mom.
His love for her is obvious
by the way he treats her,
talks to her,
holds her hand,
cries for her,
manages her care,
includes her in decision making about her care.
He is not perfect,
but he loves my mom.
It is obvious.
And he loves me.
I love my dad.
And am glad to be alive.

And on this good day, I will go and see my dad.

application of deconstructed mattress elements to pod

hmmm. need rain. need rust.

why do i speak into his silence

why do i speak into his silence

i am not really totally sure

but today i blogged because

i suppose i am speaking to him
even though he turns away
and tries to pretend i am not there

whether you listen or not
whether you hear or not

because i am here
because i exist

because
i have been given the gift of voice
i have been given the gift of words
i have been given the gift of feeling
i have been given the gift of thought
i have been given the gift of making
i have been given the gift of love
there is nothing i have that i was not given
i was created
i am forgiven
i have infinite value
i exist



you may choose not to see me
you may choose not to hear me
you may choose not to feel me
you may choose not to love me
you may choose to pretend i don't exist
you choose

but that does not change the fact

i exist
i am not invisible
i have voice
i have words
i have feelings
i have thoughts
i love
i am lovable
i am forgivable

i am worth waiting for
i am worth "drama"
i am worth forgiving
i have infinite value
i was created
i exist

i am sorry that you wipe my existence from your soul
but i exist

the sacredness of who God has made me this defines meit is who i am

do my actions reflect who God has and is making me?
do my actions reflect the very thing i despise?

in ten years will my actions i take today
make me thankful
for who God has been making me and
that i choose to walk in that now
or in ten years will I despise myself?

will i choose actions based on how someone else behaves or believes?
or will i choose courageous loving, valuing actions based on who i really am?

i cannot change past actions

the actions of today,
with these i have the option of choosing
choosing actions that reflect who i really am
and i do know who i am
both strength and weaknesses
both gifts and wrongdoings

do my friends and my family
help me choose to be who i really am,
who i was created to be?
or do they promote actions or inactions
that replicate a history of hurt?

i choose actions today that reflect who God has and is making me
i choose friends and family who help me be who i really am

will i gift to you honoring the sacredness
of who you really are
who you were created to be
i will
will i forgive myself for
not always choosing to do this
i will
do i accept my creator's intervention and forgiveness
i do

do i forgive you
for not always knowing how to
honor the sacredness of my being
absolutely
i do

each day as i move forward
i will continue to awaken
stand up, pick up my mat
and walk and i will continue
to choose
to forgive
to have mercy
to act in love
to show value
to cherish
to have courage
to exercise fortitude
to accept healing

i do know who i am
whether you see me or not
whether you believe me or not
whether you value me or not
i choose to no longer
allow this to define me

have my past actions
when i chose to act out
of my history of hurt
hurt you
absolutely
devastatingly so
have my past actions
when i chose to act out
of who i am
cherish you
absolutely

do the actions you choose
when you act out
of your history of hurt
hurt me
absolutely
devastatingly so
do the actions you choose
when you act out
of who you really are
cherish me
absolutely

but the sacredness of who God has made me
this defines me
it is who i am

i will hold on to that
i will act out of that

for better or worse
for richer or poorer
i will hold on to the
sacredness of who God
has made me

downtown at sunset

phone upload test

hide and seek :: what i love about children

i love to play hide and seek with children because it is so fun and joyous to find them because they want to be found.

they hide in the most obvious places and when i even kind of get close as i seek them, even when i pretend not to see them, they burst out of their hiding place with gusts of laugher beaming with smiles on their little faces and run right to me because they are so glad to be found by me. they want to be found. and what do i do when i find them, just as you do, i grab them, hug them, spin them round and laugh with them every time because i am just as happy as they are to find them. and then we play again and again because they love to be found.

i am looking for you.
will you allow me to find you?

feet of shadows exhibition closes June 29

This is the last weekend to see my exhibition at the GGallery,
feet of shadows trudge this space of absence.

I hope you will go if you haven't been.
Show has been extended from 22 to 29 of June.
Come by if it isn't within their hours give me a call and I will meet you there and give you a tour of the show.

Saturday and Sunday gallery hours 12:30 to 4:30.
Located at 301 East 11th Street Houston, TX 77008 713.869.4770

Chronicle Article by Douglas Britt
Living Art interview KPFT 90.1 with Kathy Kelley, Michael Woodson, and Marcela Descalzi

progress in artmaking

Living faithfully in an ambiguous world

Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in nature colors and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.

It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities. We have to learn to make wise choices without needing to be entirely sure.

this reflections is taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.

what i love about my mom

she is gracious
she makes the best of what life deals her
she is forgiving
she loves in spite of others humanity
she loves my dad
she is a survivor
she is strong
she laughs and is good natured even when her words slip away
she makes new friends
she chooses to wear a smile
she is kind
she reaches out
she is not afraid to tell me what she thinks
she is a good listener
she shares right back
she is funny
she holds me
she kisses my head
she pats my back
she allows me to need her
she needs me right back
she is not perfect
she is lovable
she is admirable
she is beautiful inside and out
she is my mom
and I am proud to say
she is my mom

progress in artmaking

"it is courage that restores hope to the heart" John O'Donovan

"...courage is amazing because it can tap in to the heart of fear, taking that frightened energy and turning it toward initiative, creativity, action and hope. When courage comes alive, imprisoning walls become frontiers of new possibilities, difficulty becomes invitation and the heart comes into a new rhythm of trust and sureness. There are secret sources of courage inside every human heart; yet courage needs to be awakened in us. the encounter with the Beautiful can bring such an awakening. Courage is a spark that can become a flame of hope, lighting new and exciting pathways on what seem to be dead, dark landscapes."

-John O'Donovan, excerpt

neither laughable or arrogant

humility is not stooping lower, making myself smaller, than I am and neither is it extending myself to standing taller than my actual being. humility is recognizing myself (goodness, funkiness, mistakes, and gifts) and neither pretending that I am more or less than I am--acknowledging both my strengths and weaknesses, my gifts and wrong doings. so for me to say i am courageous is neither arrogant or laughable for though i have acted cowardly in moments and in doing so have caused great harm, i am actually courageous. i will walk in who i am--acknowledging and forgiving my weaknesses and wrong doings and acknowledging and embracing my strengths and gifts. i will walk in who i am and make amends.

hanging with my mom at crestview

we went for a walk; she chatted with her sister for a bit; i laid on the sidewalk and self entertained taking pics of her and relaxed. restful. slight breeze. i have a great mom.

pod in process

steel pod with remnant tube artifacts sewn with baling wire
in process
inside looks more interesting then outside so may have to rethink/reverse elements on other panels.

"it is courage that restores hope to the heart" John O'Donovan

"...courage is amazing because it can tap in to the heart of fear, taking that frightened energy and turning it toward initiative, creativity, action and hope. When courage comes alive, imprisoning walls become frontiers of new possibilities, difficulty becomes invitation and the heart comes into a new rhythm of trust and sureness. There are secret sources of courage inside every human heart; yet courage needs to be awakened in us. the encounter with the Beautiful can bring such an awakening. Courage is a spark that can become a flame of hope, lighting new and exciting pathways on what seem to be dead, dark landscapes."

-John O'Donovan, excerpt from Encounter with Beauty

The Source of All Love (excerpt)

"Without the love of our parents, sisters, brothers, spouses, lovers, and friends, we cannot live. Without love we die. Still, for many people this love comes in a very broken and limited way. It can be tainted by power plays, jealousy, resentment, vindictiveness, and even abuse. No human love is the perfect love our hearts desire, and sometimes human love is so imperfect that we can hardly recognise it as love. In order not to be destroyed by the wounds inflicted by that imperfect human love, we must trust that the source of all love is God's unlimited, unconditional, perfect love, and that this love is not far away from us but is the gift of God's Spirit dwelling within us."

These reflections are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey

Living Art Interview with Kathy Kelley

Living Art interview KPFT 90.1 with Kathy Kelley, Michael Woodson, and Marcela Descalzi

click here to link directly to the interview on the KPFT 90.1 site. mine begins exactly in the middle of the show

knit

those with whom my soul has been knit
they will stand with me
by me, for me
when things are hard
when things are messy
even if i make them hard
even if i make them messy
even when i am wrong
they forgive me
they love me
they find goodness in me
under the mess
in the hardness
in spite of wrongness
even when i loose understanding
they know who i am
they can see me
we are knit
all else falls away

with whom am i knit
will i fall away
will they

-------
these are the women with whom i am aware of being knit. i am grateful for this knitting. my soul finds breath because of these knittings i have been given.



my mom and me


i am sure there are others, but today these are the knittings of which i am presently aware. gifts.

Living Art interview KPFT 90.1 with Kathy Kelley, Michael Woodson, and Marcela Descalzi [click here to link directly to the interview on their site. mine begins exactly in the middle of the show]

revolution

"without voice there is no revolution" - Thomas Merton

revolution of change

it can be the revolution of division
or it can be the revolution of healing
at this point it is a revolution

revolution is revolution

revolution requires energy
heroic efforts
troop support
fortitude

what kind of revolution will be chosen

there will be casualties
there will be damage
there may be death
i will cry

it will require strategy
planning
it will require implementation
it will require fear and grief
to temporarily be set aside
it will require things that do not aid
to be released, set aside

it requires loyalty to the cause
it requires intentional actions to be taken
as well as intentional inactions to be allowed
it requires silence, listening
it requires communicating, voice
it requires truth
it requires personal responsibility
it requires forgiveness
it requires mutual support
it requires comforting
it requires sacrifices
it requires some needs to be temporarily set aside

revolution, either, both of which
are the revolution of change
requires much

will there be a revolution
will there be change

there is another option
it is the option for no revolution
this is the option of pretend
this is the option were there is no voice
with pretend there is only illusion
with pretend there is no change
with pretend there is no healing
there are no real people with pretend
only phantoms living someone else's life
pretend is an option

i choose to have voice
i choose the revolution of change
i choose the revolution of healing

pieces find new homes

single pod of i am stripped naked; i weep and cannot stop, remnant tubes, steel, tires, 2009, arrived at its new home today by a beautiful fountain.


and the second mask, the fear was hidden behind…, remnant tires, baling wire, on stands of remnant chandelier understructures, 2009, will head to its new home after the closing of the ggallery exhibition, June 22.

Swing by the GGallery--my exhibition will be on display through June 22. If you would like an artist's tour, give me a shout, I would love to join you there.

princess and the pea. perhaps?

icky harvested stinky mattresses to deconstruct
hope the remnant materials to be reused loose their stink prior to gallery encasing.
perhaps my work will finally include color (or not)

upcoming LivingArt KPFT 90.1 interview

Listen in to LivingArt KPFT 90.1 interview with me and Michael Woodson this Friday, June 12, in regards to my Feet of Shadows exhibition currently on view at the G Gallery. The show begins at 1 pm. I'll visit with Michael for about 15 minutes sometime between 1 and 2.

Living Art interview
with Kathy Kelley
KPFT 90.1
Friday, June 12
between 1-2 pm

to listen live go to KPFT 90.1 website and click listen now button in the upper right corner of the page

i am not the watchmaker.

photo of me after a day of installing by katy anderson (2/2008).

the gift of life
it is the gift of time
it is the gift i have been given

i did not make it
i did not earn it
it is simply a gift
given
received

i cannot make time pass
stand still
move forward
move back

i cannot make
the watch tick
for i am not
the watchmaker

i can however
wind the watch
this is my responsibility
to wind the watch
each day
to the best
of my ability

i cannot control
the tick tock
i cannot control
its flow
but i must wind
it is what i need to do
so each morning
when i rise
i reach and i begin
the process
of winding


reference (inspiration) story from page 93 of Walking on Water by Madeleine L'Engle.

Join me TONIGHT for my exhibition opening at the G Gallery in the Heights.

Feet of shadows trudge this space of absence
exhibition of new works by Kathy Kelley opens
June 6, 2009, 6 - 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770

Feet of Shadows + Houston Chronicle

Emerging artist's life has taken many turns | Fine Arts | Houston Chronicle

Made the Houston Chronicle.

final prepping for opening this Saturday night at the G Gallery

Feet of shadows trudge this space of absence
exhibition of new works by Kathy Kelley opens
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770




they cling; they live inside me; they stay; they repeat as infinite do-loops; they become my own voice; they tell me who i am; they tell me what i have done; they tell me i am the destroyer; they tell me i will be destroyed; there is no hope in these words. remnant tubes, baling wire, rebar, cinder blocks, chair, belts, various mallets, 2009.

Join me THIS Saturday, June 6, 2009 between 6 & 9 pm at the GGallery

FEET OF SHADOWS TRUDGE THIS SPACE OF ABSENCE
exhibition of new works by Kathy Kelley opens
June 6, 2009, 6 pm until 9 pm
show closes June 22, 2009

G Gallery
301 E 11th St
Houston, TX 77008
(713) 869-4770


the fracture between us yawns as a cavern so wide, I feel the bruise of soul. remnant tubes, baling wire, wood, 2009.

Please join me. See you all there.

prepping for saturday opening

they cling; they live inside me; they stay; they repeat as infinite do-loops; they become my own voice; they tell me who i am; they tell me what i have done; they tell me i am the destroyer; they tell me i will be destroyed; there is no hope in these words. (FOREGROUND) remnant tubes, baling wire, rebar, cinder blocks, chair, belts, various mallets, 2009.

Installing for Saturday, June 6th opening (6 - 9 pm)
@ the G Gallery
Exhibition closes June 22


the fear was hidden behind... 5 masks of remnant tires, baling wire, on stands of remnant chandelier understructures, 2009.


the fear was hidden behind... mask details.


the fear was hidden behind... mask details.




i obliterated that which I loved.
remnant tube liners on wood frame, 2009.


i could not stop. 3 units.
remnant tubes, baling wire, rebar, steel frame, 2009.


i whisper into the silence; now as i did then; it is unbearable in its volume. remnant tubes, baling wire, stuffing on wood frame, 2009.


betrayal is not so very far away; it comes from within me; does it come from within you. remnant tubes, rebar, baling wire on steel frame, 2009.